If you are familiar with Christianity, you’ve probably heard of the “Golden Rule”, generally stated as “do unto others as you would have others do unto you”. The Golden Rule has gained popularity as a humanistic philosophic device or is referred to as a universal ethic. In practice, the thought would seem to be “If people would just be nice to me, I could be nice to them.” In Matthew 5, Jesus said that living in such a way was nothing special.

“For if you love those loving you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax-collectors do the same?" - Matthew 5:46

The big question is whether you can be kind to someone that has hurt you or hurts you. Can you love someone that has treated you poorly? You know this isn’t easy. In fact, some people believe that the teaching of Jesus is an extreme example, impossible to live up to. However, the wisdom of Jesus is the only practical way to live your life. Why? “An eye for an eye” is a disaster in practice because a chain reaction of violence solves nothing except for continuing the violence, followed by hatred and more violence. Someone must break the cycle. This is a deliberate decision that someone must make. God has already broken the cycle. Mankind has not broken the cycle because of the tragedy of self-deception and pride. Self-exaltation and self-idolatry must be swallowed and the offense overlooked. Jesus says that you and I are that “someone” that He is talking about.

“So also the tongue is a little member, and boasts great things. Behold, how little a fire kindles how large a forest!” - James 3:5

Mean-spirited behavior created more of the same and easily creates a larger explosive situation. Even worse, when you respond with ugliness, anger, and revenge, you hand control over to the other person. Your build your own prison. The wisdom of Jesus frees you from this strife-inducing situation and gives you peace of mind. By having nothing to do with domination, hatred or revenge, you establish self-control instead of trying to control someone else.

In a close and personal situation, withdrawing or turning your back on the offending person might seem to be an effective solution. You cannot have a vacuum in your heart. This creates a dangerous vacuum in any working relationship. The vacuum is easily filled by hatred and resentment. Hatred and resentment contaminate your heart and keep God out. Jesus says that you must replace hatred with love.

“But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who despitefully use you.” - Luke 6:27 - 28

To love those who mistreat you and treating unkind people respectfully is the strongest expression of Christian behavior. In this way you are able to overcome and rise above the situation. This positive response makes you responsible in your behavior instead of the other person. You can blame someone else or justify yourself. Instead of reacting to circumstances in life that you cannot control, Jesus wants his disciples to accountable, responsible for personal behavior instead of making excuses and pointing to someone else. “Therefore, if you, being evil, know to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in Heaven give good things to those that ask Him? Therefore, all things, whatever you desire that men should do to you, so also you should do to them; for this is the Law and the Prophets.” - Matthew 7:11-12

The golden rule in Matthew 7:12, like forgiveness, is not conditional on the other person. Jesus said that his disciples want to be good to others because God is good to his disciples. Yet, how many Christians try in the flesh to follow the golden rule, but utterly fail to grasp the importance of forgiveness.

“The love of God has been poured out in our hearts.” - Romans 5:5

“Even as Christ forgave you, so also you should forgive.” - Colossians 3:13

Because you and I are forgiven much, we must genuinely forgive others that have deceived and betrayed us. This is not simply a good idea, but a foundational principle for faithful disciples of Christ. The failure to forgive ultimately results in a demonic stronghold in your life and can result in much personal harm to you, as well as your spiritual walk in Christ.

You are commanded to forgive and you are forgiven in return. Wherever a Christian fails the command to forgive, God is unable to forgive in return or protect from that lack of forgiveness. In this way, you reap exactly what you sow. What is worse, the failure to forgive results in a double portion of demonic influence in your life, resulting in physical effects as well as moral and spiritual havoc. Forgiveness is simply that important to a disciple of Christ. The issue of forgiveness will stand in the way of renewing your mind, hence your life in Christ and your continuing commitment in obedience to God’s Word. Forgiveness is a vital element of the Golden Rule.